TTM 1: Zul

BAHASA MELAYU

Semenjak aku sudah memutuskan hubungan aku dengan kekasih terakhir aku, hidup aku mulai sepi kembali. Kalau dahulu aku sering rancak berbual dengan mereka secara atas talian, sekarang aku hanya membelek-belek media sosialku secara berulang-ulang saat aku keseorangan. Malah, aku juga tidaklah sering berbual-bual dengan rakan sekelas aku yang lain kerana sifat aku yang pendiam kecuali dengan si Hakim itu. Itu pun dia yang mulakan dahulu perbualan kita orang. Maka, kegiatan seharian aku hanyalah ke kuliah di pagi hari, ke kafeteria untuk mengisi perut dan pulang terus ke bilik selepas waktu kelas. Sewaktu hujung minggu lagilah teruk, aku hanya terperuk sahaja di bilik sambil layan filem-filem yang aku sempat muat turun sewaktu di kelas kuliah.

Sejujurnya, aku sendiri ingat-ingat lupa pasal pertemuan kali pertama aku dengan Teman Tapi Mesra (TTM) pertamaku. Aku sendiri lupa sama ada aku atau dia yang menegur dahulu, namun yang pasti kami berkenalan melalui aplikasi media sosial Facebook (FB) yang agak terkenal pada waktu itu. Seperti biasalah, aku akan ke profilnya setelah kami menjadi rakan untuk mengenalinya dengan lebih dalam. Dari situlah baru aku tahu yang dia sebenarnya anak orang asal dari Muadzam Shah, Pahang, tidak seperti yang aku sangkakan kerana aku fikir dia juga berbangsa Melayu berdasarkan nama profilnya, Muhd Zul. Agak kecewa jugalah aku kerana tidak banyak gambar swagambar diri di siarannya yang boleh aku tengok, hanya ada pada gambar profilnya sahaja. Melihat secara luarannya, dia memiliki tubuh badan yang sedang-sedang tingginya dan kelihatan kurus sedikit. Berkulit sawo matang seperti kebanyakkan orang asal dan berambut warna hitam keperangan dan agak beralun-alun, malah dipotong pendek menaikkan seri kacak pada wajahnya. Pada awalnya, aku fikir dia tidak bersungguh-sungguh untuk berborak dengan aku melalui ruangan mesej FB melihat pada caranya membalas mesej aku yang agak lambat, membuatkan hati aku terasa menyampah. Namun, setelah lama berborak barulah aku sedar yang caranya memang seperti itu.

Bermula dengan suai kenal, sehinggalah boraknya kami seperti kawan yang sudah lama kenal padahal baru sahaja beberapa bulan. Kerap juga dia mengajak aku membuat panggilan video bersama hanyak untuk berborak. Melalui itu, aku mula mengenali perwatakkannya pula yang agak sedikit lembut. Namun, dia juga seorang yang ceria, malah sering sekali juga dia berjenaka dengan aku. Keceriannya itu membuatkan hati aku senang berkongsi cerita dan melepak bersamanya walaupun hanya di ruangan mesej itu sahaja. Apabila hati sudah senang dengannya, kami pun berkongsi nombor Whatsapp kami dan mula berbalas mesej di sana, yang mana lebih memudahkan pada kami. Semakin lama kami berkenalan, semakin kuat keinginan nafsu aku ketika itu. Bertuahlah aku pada waktu itu, yang mana dia ingin meminjam duit aku untuk melanggan internet telefonnya. Sengaja aku bergurau dengan menyuruhnya menghantar gambar bogelnya sebagai pertukaran dengan duit itu. Tak sangka, dia betul-betul hantar gambar bogelnya sejurus selepas mesej aku itu. Memang terkejut beruklah aku, mana tidaknya dia turuti sahaja permintaan aku. Namun, itu tak dapat menahan aku untuk melihatnya tanpa membuang masa. Walaupun gambarnya agak malap dek kerana biliknya yang kurang pencahayaan, tapi masih terlihat jelas tubuh badannya. Gambarnya yang diambil saat dia menghadap cermin almarinya memperlihatkan tubuhnya yang kurus itu. Kedua-dua putingnya yang agak lebar terlihat membonjol ke depan seperti kesangapan di atas dadanya yang sedikit bidang. Aku masih lagi tidak puas kerana gambar itu hanya separas pinggang sahaja, namun janji tetap janji aku pun menambah baki kredit kad simnya itu.

Sejak dari hari itu, beberapa kali juga dia ingin meminjam duit aku. Adakalanya untuk internet, ada juga untuk lepak dengan rakannya. Dengan peluang yang ada, aku pun memuaskan nafsuku dengan meminta beberapa gambar bogelnya setiap kali dia meminta duit. Puas juga aku melihat gambarnya yang berbogel sambil berlutut dan kedua-dua tangannya di belakang kepala. Terpampang kelebatan bulu-bulu ketiaknya itu. Sudah pasti, baunya seharum keringat jantan. Apatah lagi bulu ari-arinya yang tidak pernah dipotong itu menutupi batangnya yang kendur. Pertama kali juga aku melihat batang yang masih tidak sunat, yalah dia juga bukan Islam, sudah pastilah batangnya tidak disentuh lagi oleh ketajaman gunting atau sinaran laser sunat. Terlihat jelas batangnya yang kendur itu, yang mana kepala batang itu masih lagi ditutupi kulit. Ada juga aku menyuruhnya menghantar gambar batangnya yang sudah tegang. Tergamam aku melihat ketebalan batang itu seperti pisang tanduk dengan hujung batangnya yang kemerahan. Dapatlah aku menambah koleksi gambar-gambarnya itu. Kadang-kala dia seperti pelacur yang aku bayar untuk melihat maruah disebalik pakaiannya itu, ikut sahaja permintaan aku tanpa bantah, janji dia dapat apa yang dia mahukan. Bukan setakat gambar, malah sewaktu panggilan video juga dia mulai nakal-nakal dengan aku. Tidak seperti sewaktu kami mula-mula kenal yang mana dia masih lagi menjaga tutur katanya dan aibnya, selepas itu malah dia lebih berani mempermainkan nafsu aku. Sejak itu, dia mula tidak berbaju hanya mengenakan seluar pendeknya sahaja. Kadang-kadang dia sengaja berbaring sambil meletakkan tangannya ke atas kepala, memperlihatkan bulu ketiaknya yang lebat itu. Ada juga dia sesekali menggentel-gentel putingnya, membuatkan aku bertambah geram untuk meratahnya. Ada satu hari itu aku mencabarnya untuk melancap di luar rumah dalam video langsung dengan ganjaran yang mana aku akan berinya RM50. Dengan pantas dia ke pondok di belakang rumahnya lalu melepaskan pakaiannya ke lantai. Di bawah cahaya malap pondok itu, air liurnya diludahkan ke tangan kirinya lalu dia mulai mengusap-usap batangnya yang kendur itu. Lama-kelamaan, batangnya mulai naik dan kulit di hujung batangnya mulai terbuka dan tertarik ke belakang, memperlihatkan kepala takuk yang mula menonjolkan diri. Lancapan demi lancapan dikenakan sehinggalah batangnya sudah menegang penuh namun masih dia tidak hentikan. Kedengaran suara desahan dari mulutnya yang semakin kuat, akhirnya cairan putih mula memancut-mancut dari lubang batangnya itu. Apa lagi, mengeliat-ngeliatlah badannya yang kenikmatan itu. Bertaburan cairan putih itu di lantai dan dinding pondok itu. Aku pun tidak lepaskan peluang merakam setiap detik itu secara diam-diam tanpa pengetahuannya. Setelah itu, terus aku pindahkan wang yang dijanjikan itu ke akaun banknya.

Lama jugalah kami berkenalan, macam-macam adegan juga aku dapat melihatnya buat dengan hanya memancing duit padanya sahaja. Kadang-kala, aku juga terasa diri aku jahat kerana mempergunakannya seperti itu, namun nafsu aku yang kuat itu tidak dapat aku bendungi. Lagi pula, dia okay sahaja menurut permintaan pelik aku tanpa bantahan membuatkan aku lebih teruja untuk memuaskan nafsu aku. Malah, dia juga mesej borak dan melawak seperti biasa selepas itu seperti tiada apa-apa yang berlaku. Sehinggalah pada satu hari itu, dia mengatakan sesuatu yang agak mengejutkan aku. Sedang asyik berbual, dengn tiba-tiba dia mengajak aku sebagai pasangan kekasihnya. Bukannya aku tidak suka padanya, malah terasa senang kerana boleh bernakal-nakal bersama. Tapi, aku tidak terfikir lagi untuk bercinta buat seketika itu. Lalu, aku terpaksa menolak permintaanya itu dengan cara yang baik. Beberapa kali jugalah dia merayu kepada aku, malah memakan setiap hari juga. Tapi aku tetap dengan pendirian aku untuk kekal bujang. Walaupun pada akhirnya dia menerima penolakan tersebut, namun dia berharap aku masih lagi ingin menjadi rakan lepak dengannya. Aku dengan gembira pun bersetuju. Tidak lama kemudian, aku dapat berita yang dia sudah pun bercinta dengan seseorang dari Indonesia. Barulah aku sedar sebab disebalik jarangnya dia bermesej dengan aku selepas itu. Sebagai kawan, aku rasa gembira kerana hatinya sudah pun dimiliki, seperti yang dia inginkan. Demi menghormati dia dan juga pasangannya, aku pun mulai perlahan-lahan menjauhkan diri daripadanya. Sudah sekian lama, masih tiada perkhabaran darinya. Nombor telefon dan akaun FB, malah juga akaun Bluednya juga sudah tidak dapat dijumpai. Kekadang kalau aku rindu dia, aku akan belek-belek semula gambar-gambarnya yang aku simpan di telefon bimbitku. Kini, aku berasa gembira tatkala aku dapat jumpanya kembali melalui aplikasi Tiktok ketika aku membelek-beleknya. Ya, dia masih ceria seperti dahulu.

M.N.A_97

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ENGLISH

Ever since I broke up with my last lover, my life began to be alone again. Before, I used to chat with them online, now I just scroll through my social media repeatedly when I'm alone. In fact, I don't often chat with my other classmates because of my shyness except when with Hakim. He was the one who first started our conversation. So, my daily activities are just going to lectures in the morning, going to the cafeteria to fill my stomach and going straight back to my room after class. During the weekend it was worse, I just lay in my room watching the movies I had downloaded during the lecture class.

To be honest, I not quite remember about my first meeting with my first Intimate Friend (IF). I myself forget whether it was me or him who chatted first, but for sure we met through the social media application Facebook (FB) which was quite popular at that time. As usual, I will go to his profile after we become friends to get to know him better. That's when I found out that he was actually the indigenous of Muadzam Shah, Pahang, unlike what I thought because I thought he was also Malay based on his profile name, Muhd Zul. I'm also a bit disappointed because there aren't many selfies on his posts that I can see, only on his profile picture. Looking at his physical, he has a body of medium height and looks a little thin. Tanned skin like most of the original people and brownish black hair and a bit wavy, even cut short, made him has a handsome smile on his face. At first, I thought he was not serious about chatting with me through the FB message section, looking at the way he responded to my messages which was quite slow. However, after chatting for a long time, I realized that he is indeed always like that, like it is his natural habit.

Starting with getting to know each other, until we chatted like friends who have known each other for a long time even though it was only a few months. He also often invites me to make video calls together to chat. Through that, I started to recognize his character which is a bit soft. However, he is also a cheerful person, and he often jokes with me. His cheerfulness made me happy to share stories and hang out with him even if it was only in the chat room. After that, we shared our Whatsapp number and started exchanging messages there, which was easier for us. The longer we got to know each other, the stronger my lust became at that time. Lucky for me at that time, he wanted to borrow my money to subscribe to his phone internet. I purposely made a joke by telling him to send me a nude picture in exchange for the money. Unexpectedly, he actually sent a nude picture right after my message. I was really surprised, he just followed my request. However, that couldn't stop me from looking at it without wasting time. Although the picture is a bit dim because of the lack of lighting in the room, the body can still be clearly seen. His picture taken when he was facing his closet mirror showed his thin body. Both of his relatively wide nipples bulged forward like a puff on his slightly flat chest. I'm still not satisfied because the picture is only waist-high, but I still promised to add the credit balance of his sim card.

Since that day, he wanted to borrow my money several times. Sometimes for internet, sometimes to hang out with friends. With the available opportunity, I satisfied my lust by asking for some nude pictures of him every time he asked for money. I was also satisfied when I saw a picture of his naked while kneeling with both hands behind his head. His armpit hairs are showing. Definitely, it smells like male sweat. Not to mention that his untrimmed pubic hair covered his sagging cock. It was the first time I saw a cock that was still uncircumcised, well, he was also not a Muslim, it was certain that his dick had not been touched by the sharpness of scissors or circumcision lasers. His sagging cock was clearly visible, the head of which was still covered with skin. I also told him to send a picture of his cock that was already tense. I was stunned to see the thickness of the dick so big with the tip of the dick being reddish. I can add to the collection of his pictures. Sometimes he is like a prostitute I paid to see the dignity behind his clothes, just follow my request without protest and promise he will get what he wants. Not only the pictures, but also during the video call he started being naughty with me. Unlike when we first met where he still guarded his words and shame, after that he even dared to play with my lust. From then on, he began to go shirtless only wearing his shorts. Sometimes he purposely lies down with his arms above his head, exposing his bushy armpit hair. There's also the fact that he occasionally tickles his nipples, making me even more mad to spank him. There was one day that I challenged him to masturbate outside the house in a live video with a reward for which I would give him RM50. He quickly went to the hut behind his house and dropped his clothes on the floor. Under the dim light of the hut, his spat onto his left hand and he began to stroke his dick. Over time, the cock begins to rise and the skin at the end of the dick begins to open and pull back, revealing a notched head that begins to stand out. Ejaculation after ejaculation was applied until his cock was fully stretched but still he did not stop. Heard a sigh from his mouth that got louder, finally the white liquid started gushing from the hole of his dick. What's more, look at his body that pleasure. Scattered the white liquid on the floor and walls of the hut. I didn't miss the opportunity to secretly record every moment without his knowledge. After that, I transferred the promised money to his bank account.

We've known each other for a long time, I can see him doing various scenes by just promising for money on him. Sometimes, I also feel bad for using it like that, but I can't control my strong lust. After all, he was okay with my strange request without objection which made me more excited to satisfy my lust. In fact, he also chatted and joked as usual after that as if nothing had happened. Until one day, he said something that surprised me. While chatting, he suddenly asked me to be his lover. It's not that I don't like him, but it's nice to be able to be naughty together. But, I didn't think about falling in love for that moment. Then, I had to reject his request in a good way. He begged me several times, even eating every day. But I stand by my stance to remain single. Although in the end he accepted the rejection, he hoped that I would still want to hang out with him. I happily agreed. Not long after, I got the news that he was already in love with someone from Indonesia. It was only then that I realized the reason behind the rarity of him messaging me after that. As a friend, I feel happy because his heart is already owned, as he wanted. Out of respect for him and his partner, I slowly started to distance myself from him. It's been a long time, still no news from him. His phone number and FB account, even his Blued account, can no longer be found. Sometimes if I miss him, I'll look through his pictures that I keep on my cell phone. Now, I feel happy when I can find it again through the Tiktok app when I browse through it. Yes, he is still as cheerful as before.

M.N.A_97